{"id":769,"date":"2026-05-31T20:44:00","date_gmt":"2026-05-31T20:44:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awestories24.press\/?p=769"},"modified":"2026-05-31T20:44:00","modified_gmt":"2026-05-31T20:44:00","slug":"at-70-this-widow-posted-a-newspaper-ad-looking-for-a-husband","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awestories24.press\/?p=769","title":{"rendered":"At 70, This Widow Posted a Newspaper Ad Looking for a Husband"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A lonely 70-year-old widow finally decided it was time to marry again, so she placed an ad in the local newspaper. It read:<br \/>\n\u201cHusband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-11\">\n<div id=\"news25story.xyz_responsive_2\" data-google-query-id=\"CPLosMOx5JQDFRECdQEdhiUPBg\">\nThe very next day, her doorbell rang. When she opened the door, she was shocked to see an elderly man in a wheelchair with gray hair, no arms, and no legs. Confused, she asked, \u201cYou\u2019re not seriously here to apply, are you? You don\u2019t even have legs!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The man smiled warmly. \u201cExactly. So I can\u2019t run around on you.\u201d She frowned. \u201cBut you don\u2019t have any arms either!\u201d Again, he grinned. \u201cWhich means I can never beat you.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"code-block code-block-12\">\n<div id=\"news25story.xyz_responsive_1\" data-google-query-id=\"CICLsMOx5JQDFYq-_QcdPV8rQg\">\n<div id=\"google_ads_iframe_\/23201474937\/news25story.xyz\/news25story.xyz_responsive_1_0__container__\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>The widow raised an eyebrow, now both curious and doubtful. \u201cAll right\u2026 but one more thing. Are you still good in bed?\u201d<br \/>\nThe old man leaned back proudly, a wide smile stretching across his face.<br \/>\n\u201cMy dear,\u201d he said, \u201cI rang the doorbell, didn\u2019t I?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A lonely 70-year-old widow finally decided it was time to marry again, so she placed an ad in the local newspaper. It read: \u201cHusband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>At 70, This Widow Posted a Newspaper Ad Looking for a Husband - Welcome<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/awestories24.press\/?p=769\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"At 70, This Widow Posted a Newspaper Ad Looking for a Husband - Welcome\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A lonely 70-year-old widow finally decided it was time to marry again, so she placed an ad in the local newspaper. 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