I Asked a Coworker to Pretend to Be My Boyfriend at My Ex-Husband’s Wedding, but He Teased Me and Said, ‘No One Would Date You’ – So My Fake Date Wiped the Smile off His Face

“Congratulations.”

Max looked him up and down.

Then he laughed.

Not politely.

Actually laughed.

Several nearby guests turned toward us.

“What’s funny?” I asked.

“Him?”

Max looked around as though everyone should understand the joke.

“Your boyfriend?”

Claire touched his arm.

“Max.”

He ignored her.

“I don’t believe it. No one would date you. Especially someone like him.”

My face burned.

Then he gave me the same grin he always used when he wanted cruelty to sound like humor.

“What did you do, pay him to come?”

For half a second, I was back in our bedroom watching him pack.

I wanted to disappear.

Edward didn’t raise his voice.

Instead, he smiled.

“Actually, Max, I brought you a wedding gift.”

Max looked surprised.

“For me?”

“Especially for you.”

Edward turned to me.

“Give me five minutes.”

Then he walked outside.

Max watched him leave and smirked.

“I knew it.”

Five minutes later, Edward returned carrying the cardboard box from his car.

He set it on an empty table.

“For the groom.”

Max laughed.

“You were serious.”

“Open it.”

By then, several guests were watching.

Max opened the box.

His smile disappeared.

Inside was an enormous pair of trousers.

He pulled them out.

“What is this?”

“Mine,” Edward said.

Max looked between Edward and the trousers.

“You wore these?”

“Yes.”

Edward took them back.

“I used to be much heavier.”

Max frowned.

“So?”

Edward looked at me.

“Veronica knows part of this story.”

I stared at him.

“I do?”

“About three years ago, before we became friends, someone brought birthday cake into the office.”

Then I remembered.

Edward had been standing near the break room.

Someone offered him cake.

He refused.

“People who look like me don’t need cake.”

I had been having a terrible week with Max.

Without thinking, I replied,

“Funny. My husband talks about me like that.”

Edward’s smile disappeared.

Then I told him,

“I hate hearing it from him. I don’t like hearing it from you either.”

At the time, I took my cake and walked away.

I had almost forgotten the conversation.

Edward hadn’t.

“That stayed with me,” he said.

Max looked impatient.

“What exactly is the point?”

Edward folded the trousers over one arm.

“The point is Veronica never told me what I should weigh. She never told me I would be more valuable if my body changed. She just made me realize I had started speaking to myself the same way someone else was speaking to her.”

People were listening now.

Edward continued.

“I stopped postponing my life until I looked acceptable. Later, I changed some habits, and my body changed too.”

Max smirked.

“So Veronica inspired you to get in shape. Great.”

“No.”

Edward answered immediately.

“That is exactly what you still don’t understand.”

Max’s smile faded.

“She didn’t fix me. There was nothing wrong with me that needed fixing before I deserved to enjoy my own life.”

Claire glanced at Max.

Then at me.

Max gave an uncomfortable laugh.

“What does any of that have to do with me?”

Edward handed him the trousers.

“Because you looked at me tonight and decided my appearance proved something about Veronica.”

Max shrugged.

“It does.”

Edward held his gaze.

“Then why are you still trying so hard to prove it?”

Max stopped smiling.

A few minutes later, Edward asked me to step into the hallway.

His expression had changed.

“Veronica, Max was wrong about you. But there’s something I should have said before we came.”

“What?”

“You asked me because you thought showing up with a man who looks like me would prove something to Max.”

My face warmed.

“I know.”

“I agreed because I hoped you would realize it wouldn’t.”

I stared at him.

“You could have told me that before the wedding.”

“Yes.”

“Instead, you let me pretend you were my boyfriend so you could teach me a lesson.”

“You’re right.”

No excuse.

No argument.

Just that.

I walked farther down the hallway because I refused to cry where Max could see me.

Edward followed but kept his distance.

Then I heard a small voice.

“Mom?”

My oldest daughter stood nearby.

I quickly wiped beneath one eye.

“Hey.”

She looked toward the reception.

“Why did Dad say nobody would date you?”

I crouched beside her.

“He was being unkind.”

She thought for a moment.

“Edward isn’t really your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Then why did you say he was?”

For a moment, lying would have been easier.

Instead, I told her the truth.

“Because I wanted your dad to think somebody wanted me.”

She frowned.

“But we wanted you here.”

I had no answer.

She hugged me.

That one sentence did more for me than anything Edward or Max had said all evening.

After she ran back to the reception, Edward was still waiting.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I’m still angry with you.”

“You should be.”

Then Max appeared.

His confidence had returned, but it looked more fragile now.

I stared at him.

“You’re marrying Claire. You got what you wanted. Why do you still need me to be undesirable?”

He didn’t answer.

Claire had followed him into the hallway.

Max glanced at her.

“She’s twisting this.”

Claire looked at me, then at him.

“You told me she stopped trying.”

“She did.”

Claire’s expression changed.

“That isn’t what I just heard.”

For the first time since Max had packed those suitcases, I wasn’t waiting for him to explain what his opinion meant about me.

Back inside, Edward began putting the old trousers into the box.

“What are you doing with them?” I asked.

“Taking them to the donation center.”

“Good.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I’m still mad at you.”

“Fair.”

“You owe me.”

“Also fair.”

“Start by getting those pants out of my ex-husband’s wedding.”

He picked up the box.

“Best fake date you’ve ever had.”

“Only fake date I’ve ever had.”

“Still undefeated.”

I laughed despite myself.

Soon afterward, I gathered the girls.

As we reached the exit, Max called my name.

“So what happens with you and Edward?”

I turned.

Even now, he needed to know.

If Edward wanted me, Max could measure my value with that.

If he didn’t, Max could measure that too.

“You really need the answer, don’t you?”

He opened his mouth.

I walked away.

Outside, my older daughter paused beside the car and smoothed her dress.

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Does this make me look weird?”

The question sounded casual.

That made it hurt more.

I could have immediately told her she looked beautiful.

Instead, I asked,

“Do you like the dress?”

She looked down, then spun once and watched the skirt move around her knees.

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s the answer that matters.”

She smiled and climbed into the car.

Her little sister followed, leaving frosting on the door.

“I look sticky.”

I laughed.

“You definitely do.”

After buckling her in, I walked around to the driver’s side.

My reflection appeared in the dark car window.

For a moment, Max’s old question returned.

“When was the last time you even looked at yourself in the mirror?”

So I looked.

But this time, I didn’t inspect my waist.

I didn’t turn sideways.

I didn’t wonder what Max would criticize.

I didn’t wonder whether Edward would approve.

I simply looked at myself.

Then my three-year-old yelled from inside the car,

“Mom! Go!”

I smiled, opened the door, and got in.

You may also like...